The usual imbeciles turned up to yet another annual feeding of the unwashed, under educated and frankly non-serious birding types, that is the CBC Xmas Curry. Seymour provided the wheels (Austin Allegro), we provided the prizes, everyone else just turned up to eat and drink and be merry; CR turned up just to be quite the most huffy little monkey of the evening. We waited till he left to award the best prize of the night.
The big winners of the evening though were Cliff (scooped the camo cup, a jar of olives and some coffee), dogger (birder most likely to phone for a lift when he's skint/ least likely to phone when he's not) and Jeff (bird of the year and winner of the Einstein (again...just how many years can any one man win the fucker?)). The Wader sulked all night when he lost out on 'Bird Photgrapher of the Year'. Well done Bernard (the judges thought your shot of nocturnal game was a technical triumph well beyond anything Smudger could photoshop). Worst Photographer of the Year (three prizes for this one) was won by Bjorn (apologies to Benny) who went home looking more like Mark Spitz than a member of a 70s supergroup. Best impersonation of CR through the medium of internet email was won by Sugar Ray. Sadly Sugar Ray was unable to make the festivities.
Well done to Seymour. Apply liberally after every entry. Well, we assume that's where Murray the pewter pigeon has disappeared to? We didn't believe him for a minute when he said he'd lost it (there's always somebody who's just in it for themselves, typical).
Finally the matter of Cardiff Birder of the Year 2011. The really, really big prize was won by Sir Maurice Chown. A decision that was unanimous in approval by all in the room and was greeted by a standing ovation. Sir Maurice (we knighted him, as is the right of the CBC) had a storming 2011 and thoroughly deserved the prize. Cliff has kindly offered to take Sir Maurice out for dinner at the Ritz followed by an all expenses paid trip on the Orient Express in search of breeding slender-billed curlews.
So that's it for 2011. Incidentally, if anyone does know where Murray the Pewter Pigeon is (apart from Seymour's anus) could you please let us know. Thanks.
6 comments:
The prize list in full:
CBC Dutch Birder of the Year: Joekmeister
CBC Accompliss to the Dutch Birder of the Year: Mr S Howcroft
CBC Best Find whilst out dogging at Lavernock Point award: Mr. M. Meehan (yellow-browed warbler)
Owl flusher of the year: Mr S Hinton (Steve has now won this award on three seperate occasions and gets to keep the trophy)
Most Improved Birder of the Year: Mr M Meehan
Worst Improved Birder of the Year: Mr M Meehan
Best Fieldcraft of the Year: Mr C Woodhead (Mr Woodhead wins the Camo Cup for brillaintly flushing 27 short-eared owls to death).
Octogenerian Dad of the Year 2012-2033: Mr M Powell
Best Tight short wearing Birder of the 1980's: Mr J Hunt
Best skid mark left on the leather upholstery of Seymour's new beamer: Mr N Addecott
Best Bird of the Year 2011: Mr J Slocombe (The Einstein) - this was originally awarded to the isabelline wheatear. Sadly no one was available to present the exceptance mime so we gave it to Jeff/ Badger for the Black Stork.
County Recorder of the Year 2011: I can't reveal this one on line, except to say that CR came third.
Now for the serious awards -
Best Bjorn from Abba looky-likey/ Birder most likely to get all his own photos in the annual Bird report: Mr R Smith
Birder most likely to be confused with Scooter from the Muppets: Mr A Bevan
Best Arse Squeaker: Mr J Hunt (did anyone else notice the lack of arse squeaks from Mr Hunt last night? Is there a story here? Has severe flatulence finally found a cure for this habitual fluffer? Has the mystery of the location of Murray finally been revealed?).
Owner of the second best bike in the CBC: Mr P Bristow
Most generous birder on a Biscay cruise: Mr C Woodhead
Cardiff Birder of the Year 2011: Sir M Chown
Yes, apparently my generousity exceeded all expectations, so glad you appreciated it, so I m booked on next year s trip then ? enough of the bullshit, sincere Xmas greetings to all & good birding in the New Year !
Deeply honoured to receive this award- (sob sob) and would first like to thank my family, my agent and all my fans for their support. Commiserations also to those who were disappointed. Apologies that significant reports were not from the fair county of Glamorgan but in an adjoining shire. God save the queen.
Superb night! Well done MC!!
Brilliant night, and cliff get a case with wheels next biscay trip, or take your own porter !!
no probs, I know when my luck s run out !
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