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Sunday, 2 September 2012
4 Go mad in Dorset : Episode 3
Bonxie,Gannet and Sooty Shearwater from yesterday's pelagic.
More and probably better to come from the other lads.
The four best chums are sitting in the finest tearooms in all of Dorset. As they chug back gallons of the finest ginger beer and scoff greedily on cream puffs, Stephen is busy with his special bag of sesick tablets.
'I say Stephen, let's go totally mad and have three instead of two seasickness tablets'? said a rather bored Jeffrey
'Yes, Jeffery lets. And while we're at it here's some benzodiazepines and half a dozen quaaludes to help ease the passage' said Stephen with his special bag of illicit drugs
'Will these significantly enhance my photographic ability' said a rather concerned Jeffrey, ' I'd hate to think that I will have finally taken an infocus shot by having to resort to performance enhancing drugs?'.
'Don't worry' said Stephen (as he quickly gave Alexander his usual dose of horse tranquilser mixed with a little Baby-Bio) 'there's no drug yet invented that'll perform that sort of miracle, ha, ha, ha, ha'
As the three chums chortled at Stephen's wit (and the effects of some particularly pure cocaine Stephen had substitued the sugar in their teas with), all three had failed to notice that Smudger had once again reacted quite badly to some very strong LCD and was currently going down on an octogenerian pensioner with a penchant for french patisseries.
Just as even the most open-minded and liberal amongst you were about to take offense, a hand drawn treasure map fell from the gusset of the lady in question's french patisseries and before you could say 'for fuck sake Jeff, switch on the fucking auto-focus' the four chums were off on another adventure, this time looking for whatever treasure lay between the old lady's legs....to be continued......
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5 comments:
nice work Jeff, very envious !
nice work Jeff, very envious !
4 Go Mad in Dorest by Enid Blyth's Warbler
Chapter 1
The four best chums are sitting in the finest tearooms in all of Dorset. As they chug back gallons of the finest ginger beer and scoff greedily on cream puffs, Stephen is busy with his special bag of sesick tablets.
'I say Stephen, let's go totally mad and have three instead of two seasickness tablets'? said a rather bored Jeffrey
'Yes, Jeffery lets. And while we're at it here's some benzodiazepines and half a dozen quaaludes to help ease the passage' said Stephen with his special bag of illicit drugs
'Will these significantly enhance my photographic ability' said a rather concerned Jeffrey, ' I'd hate to think that I will have finally taken an infocus shot by having to resort to performance enhancing drugs?'.
'Don't worry' said Stephen (as he quickly gave Alexander his usual dose of horse tranquilser mixed with a little Baby-Bio) 'there's no drug yet invented that'll perform that sort of miracle, ha, ha, ha, ha'
As the three chums chortled at Stephen's wit (and the effects of some particularly pure cocaine Stephen had substitued the sugar in their teas with), all three had failed to notice that Smudger had once again reacted quite badly to some very strong LCD and was currently going down on an octogenerian pensioner with a penchant for french patisseries.
Just as even the most open-minded and liberal amongst you were about to take offense, a hand drawn treasure map fell from the gusset of the lady in question's french patisseries and before you could say 'for fuck sake Jeff, switch on the fucking auto-focus' the four chums were off on another adventure, this time looking for whatever treasure lay between the old lady's legs....to be continued......
Crickey, golley gosh,what a spiffing yarn Randall.
HE is the one who is "on something" surely ??
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